Fat Lasses Win Award

Goldthorpe was resounding last night after the announcement that it is the winner of this year's Fat Lass Spotters Award. It won first prize in the "Largest Arse" category, won with an arse the size of Cleethorpes by Mrs Edna Scrubber of Main Street and also a special mention in the "Looking Like the Elephants Loading up on Dumbo" category, for the queue outside the credit union, where the resident fat lasses waited six hours to borrow £20 to spend on Pies From Elmhurst. A special unit for the treatment of arse related diseases has been set up in the tap oyle of the Oss n Groom. Free voucher with every pound of lard bought from Premier Discount.

As a birder I am always looking at the weather on the TV and on the net. Why do they change their bloody minds from day to day? Looked at the weather forecast for Spurn two weeks ago; great - banging easterlies and top conditions. Booked in to the obs and what do they do: change their bloody minds to light westerlies FFS!!!!! Best thing they can do is get rid of all that bloody gear; ebay is an option; give 20 observers throughout Britain a piece of seaweed and a pine cone; make them go outside and see if the bloody cows are sitting down or not and do it that way. Or guess, which is what I'm sure they do anyway. Dog walkers: why the bloody hell do yo pick up your dog's shit; put it in a plastic bag, then throw it in the trees? If you can't look after the bloody things properly have them put down and do us all a fucking favour!!!!

Autumn iis Here!!!!

Well, It's bloody freezing again and appears to have been so since my last post in April. Rain and more rain. Saying that, I was at Spurn for four days last week and it was warm, mostly.Spurn is the 2nd driest place in the UK!! Top time with the lads as well. Lots of birds, which brought a fall of people with all the gear and no idea! The photographers made sure the Shrike and the LEO were well kicked about, still, all4; Y B Warbler; R B Fly; Greenish etc were worth it.

BLOODY WEATHER...

Looked out today on the snowy landscape and did some serious thinking... yes... go to baths. Strangely there was only us in. Took the Finnster and had a whale of a time, then; to further the delights went to Burger King and watched grandson tear about like a lunatic for 90 minutes in the play thing.

Got to say: even I felt sylph-like compared to the obese bastards in there with their fat kids. It was like Goldthorpe on giro day; like the queue outside the Credit Union where the dolies borrow twenty quid to get pissed on the day before giro day.

Had to drive through every big puddle on way home so the Finnster could see, now he has a big boy booster seat in the front!!!

READING MATTER!!!

Had a chill this aft with a few beers in the garden with Roy and a read of my Kindle. Am currently on with a Neil Gaiman, but have changed on the advice of Michael my son to a Brent Weeks. Looking good. Spotted a buzzard fly over garden high up, with a sparrowhawk. Popped up to see t' grandsons and was shot with Spiderman silk on entry to Finn's bedroom and gurgled at by Leo. They are both top kids!!!

Tomorrow - plan is to bike to Thurnscoe to dentists then back on the stallion via the butterbur at Harlington. We shall see!!!

Return of the Metal Stallion.

Metal steed serviced and good as new thanks to Gary of Mexborough cycles. Done 15 miles round to Old Moor via Transpennine. Foggy though so saw Jack Shit.

Looking for my lost radio: fell out of my pocket yestareday, but no luck. As usual the TPT was swarming with the dogshit spreaders and their waste of time 'pets' (dog walkers that is). Why anyone would want a machine for turning dogfood into shit is a mystery to me, but please: PICK UP YOUR DOGS SHITE FOR CHRIST SAKE...)

Back home now and the sun is shining like mad. May try for the Rough-leg up at Ewden, or the adders at Hatfield.

RETURN TO BLOGGING

Here i am back, shoulder good as new and retired into the bargain. will be outlining my day to day retirement goings on, trying to fill the days. It is ahrd I can tell you but how did you ever fit work in. This is for yesterday.

Up at six, sunny and warm. Got out my iron stallion and set off on my usual round trip of 15 miles. An excellent morning, found a rare plant, new for me at the side of the path (Dittander) and a grasshopper warbler still singing. Making every effort to ride past the doctors to get my prescription, of course I forgot and have no pills!

Read some of Master and Commander on my new Kindle, with which I am VERY inpressed (apart from price of books from amazon, which is why I have bought a dvd from ebay with 30,00 books on it!!! then went up to Fairburn Ings with Al, my demon, for a brief look at a Spoonbill asleep, ha!

Up to pub for a couple with mates from work then another 15 miles on the metal steed. As I rode past a nearby hotel I realised it was 'Prom Night' from my old school, so I called in to have a look at the kids in their finery. I looked the part in my jeans and the wife's pink cycling jacket, I must say. Although the idea of a 'Prom', sticks in the craw as another example of American shite permeating the UK (all the kids think they live in Sprinfield and say but; ass and candy etc), the kids look great. In fact, some of them are looking the best they will ever look, sad rather. We wanted to call it the 'Leaver's Ball', but the Head up her arse, decided that it had connotations of leaving education... Stupid, PC old bitch!!!

Was going to go out for a couple, but stayed in and read Kindle: have jacked M and C in as it is inpenetrable with its talk of topgallants and what have you. I have moved on to 'No Country for Old Men, it seems OK.