Tuesday 16 October 2012

Fat Lasses Win Award

Goldthorpe was resounding last night after the announcement that it is the winner of this year's Fat Lass Spotters Award. It won first prize in the "Largest Arse" category, won with an arse the size of Cleethorpes by Mrs Edna Scrubber of Main Street and also a special mention in the "Looking Like the Elephants Loading up on Dumbo" category, for the queue outside the credit union, where the resident fat lasses waited six hours to borrow £20 to spend on Pies From Elmhurst. A special unit for the treatment of arse related diseases has been set up in the tap oyle of the Oss n Groom. Free voucher with every pound of lard bought from Premier Discount.
As a birder I am always looking at the weather on the TV and on the net. Why do they change their bloody minds from day to day? Looked at the weather forecast for Spurn two weeks ago; great - banging easterlies and top conditions. Booked in to the obs and what do they do: change their bloody minds to light westerlies FFS!!!!! Best thing they can do is get rid of all that bloody gear; ebay is an option; give 20 observers throughout Britain a piece of seaweed and a pine cone; make them go outside and see if the bloody cows are sitting down or not and do it that way. Or guess, which is what I'm sure they do anyway. Dog walkers: why the bloody hell do yo pick up your dog's shit; put it in a plastic bag, then throw it in the trees? If you can't look after the bloody things properly have them put down and do us all a fucking favour!!!!